What Can A Generous God Do With An Extravagant Fool?

Lord…that our desire would be to make every act an act of worship, give us a broken heart, but give us one that refuses to be impressed by impossible circumstances.

Last fall arrived as an empty handed messenger… “The income we’d hoped to see remains the income we hope to see eventually. Until then, we’ve stopped paying our mortgage in order to cover essentials. Better to face foreclosure in the next few months than to face the next few weeks without food and utilities.” -October 2011

And so we did… but the weeks evaporated like inch deep water in the heat of our circumstance, leaving us nothing but tears – tears I buried in the pillows of my couch. There I sat with my beautiful wife beside me like an angry passenger. She’d been watching faithfully for months – watching me do nothing with my days but pray and attempt to write – write when our children are decking the halls of a home they’re bound to lose – write when the lawsuits are ushered to our door by an armed official, and write when there is little food left in the pantry and no way to buy more. “Kevin, I can’t live like this – we can’t live like this – it’s insane!”

That empty handed messenger had us both by the seat of the pants but we were moving in opposite directions. “Write for me and I will provide for your family.”  The words God planted in my heart were not a secret but they were no match for the voice of reason. I looked at her as she looked at the empty pantry and choked on their utter foolishness. Still, they hung in my gut like poison “I can’t explain it Holly – I just know that I have to do this.” She was in tears, not because we were suffering but because she was carrying a much bigger burden – the burden of having to trust that a man like me had truly heard from God – easier said than done when her children are asking why that pantry is so empty. It’s the moment of truth when spouses grab their children and run for safety. I deserved nothing less.

The hours passed slowly. My words and prayers stuck to the floor like penny gum with little memory of God’s sweetness. There was nothing I could do – nothing but wait and wonder aloud if God is still generous and wonder silently what a generous God might do with such an extravagant fool. And like any fool on the worst day of his life, I gave up. But like any faithful wife with a fool for a husband, she did not. She didn’t leave because by faith she had the courage to make a different choice – to lift my head and boldly voice:  “Kevin I’m terrified… but I am always with you – I’m with you no matter what.”

Within an hour, barely long enough for our tears to dry, I received a note from a new friend “I have a surprise for you. My editor is interested in your story and I’d like to introduce the two of you – can we talk?” Forty eight hours later a door swung open without a single knock or push from my hand. Behind it were carefully placed words – words filled with kindness and backed by authority. But the words that stood on the shoulders of all the others were these “Kevin, write me a book”.

That same afternoon I received yet another call, this one from a client who needed help with a large project – a project held hostage for months by budget constraints. Not only had it been approved but it came with an offer to pay a portion of my fee in advance. That’s right…two big doors opened by two big empty hands in a single day – Halleluiah! The work took several months to complete and left no time for writing. But by Spring, God had provided enough income for me to pursue the other opportunity – to write my story.

I suppose that when God’s hands appear to be empty it is because they aren’t meant to carry a thing. But instead meant to open the doors of opportunity and then applaud the infant steps of faith that carried us to them. Funny, I never considered myself a writer until God removed all the worldly obstacles. Now it’s the only thing I can imagine – though it is still very tough to do well.  Creativity and consistency have little attraction for one another. Someone recently asked my daughter what kind of work her dad does. After giving it some thought she said “Well…He types words on his computer… and then deletes them.”  

In all that typing and deleting other things have suffered. My yard is a mess, my house is a mess and most days my life is a mess. There are moments that pass before us where things are less than a mess but most of the time we pass from one mess to another. So it has occurred to me of late that life is not a mess but a series of things designed to teach us that we are less than we thought – less than our one time accomplishments, less than our brave steps of faith and even less than the wisdom we think we’ve gained. But God is more than we hope, more than we believe and always more than we can see.

As we reach the fourth anniversary of losing our livelihood and begin the journey of cleaning it all up, we are now able to see what we’ve always missed, we are indeed a mess but at least we are God’s mess.

Final note:

While the income has sustained us for a time, we still feel the tremendous weight of our debts. And while today is full of peaceful but unpaid labor the voice of tomorrow is never silent about the bondage that unpaid labor can bring. Some call it foolishness. We call it faith – a life of learning to live by the sound of God’s voice, the only true provider. Please continue to pray for us.

With the encouragement of a world class publisher and a top notch agent, I’ve been learning the skill of writing – a difficult but worthy endeavor. With that in mind, I’ve decided to dedicate the remainder of this year to sharing how it all unfolds – the next phase of my faith journey.

Will you come along and see what happens?

For prayer or encouragement please contact me by email: wakeupmyfaith@att.net   Or connect on facebook and Google+

About Kevin Adams

As a student of God's word, photographer and writer, my chief aim is to help followers of Christ apprehend a real and passionate faith through the study of His word, by simple illustration, and regular encouragement. And by this faith they might catch a vision of who God shaped them to become. This blog is an account of my own journey toward that real and passionate faith, starting at ground zero. I hope it will offer some encouragement to any who've set their mind on seeking God's face, whatever the cost.
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75 Responses to What Can A Generous God Do With An Extravagant Fool?

  1. Isn’t it interesting… if we hold on to our faith and things work out, we are considered men of great faith. But if we hold on to our faith and things do not work out, then we are considered religous fanatics.

    Luke 17:5 (RSV)
    The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”

  2. sounds like more of a screenplay than a manuscript…congrats to you on your journey…still on this end with great interest in all that you do…be well

    • Kevin Adams says:

      I miss you brother but also know you are busy. Thanks for taking time to say hello and always for your prayers and kindness. Hope we can talk soon. Bless you my friend.

  3. “Sold Out.” Or, in your case, “Sold Out to God.” I’m encouraged by your words to continue plowing ahead in my field of writing. Also, I pray that God will bless you in your work for Him.

  4. Wendy T says:

    “So it has occurred to me of late that life is not a mess but a series of things designed to teach us that we are less than we thought – less than our one time accomplishments, less than our brave steps of faith and even less than the wisdom we think we’ve gained.”

    I learned that in a quick nanosecond… a moment etched in time that forever changed the trajectory of my heart, my mind and my life. My significance in this world is but a drop in a bucket, and that would be speaking optimistically.

    I learned how much less I was the moment the neurosurgeon took my hand and told me my eleven year old daughter would die. I continue to learn it on a whole different level each day since she did die.

    We are really nothing. This is nothing and there is nothing.

    “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.”- Isaac Asimov

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Wendy I cannot imagine what you have been through. I can think of nothing more painful. But I know One that does understand and I pray that He will comfort you. Yes we are less but God is so much more and His love is ready to shower you. Bless you and your family with His great peace. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Hey Kevin, I’ve been walking a very similar journey. Mine began with a dream 5 years ago and ended with a novel. God’s journey is difficult to navigate if you use maps and a GPS. Congratulations on finding enough faith to just hold on for the ride. If you want to check out mine, visit… http://www.facebook.com/beyondthesunbook

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Thank you JD – I’ve heard your story and have been encouraged by it. He speaks and we learn somewhere along the way to listen if we are patient – not easy. I will check out your blog and also hope that we can meet some time. Bless you brother :)

  6. Kevin, I’ve never given up on you. I knew I couldn’t transform your circumstances when we spoke on the phone a year or so ago, but I sure wanted to. I always believed that God would honor your unwavering faith. I’m so happy to hear of your new chapters opening! Please let me know when your book is ready. I’d love to have you as a guest on my blog if you’re interested. Abundant blessings to you and your dear family as you travel your journey of faith. Every good and perfect gift lies ahead

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Barb, you have been a faithful friend for several years now. I’m so grateful – more than you know – still remembering our conversation and your amazing testimony. I cherish you sister and would be glad to write any time it might be of service to you. Love you my friend. Thanks for being such an encouragement to me.

  7. Kevin, you are creating a legacy for your family and a history for others to follow. You are choosing to believe God beyond your circumstances and the heavenly hosts are cheering for you. Like watching a game you tivoed. You already know the outcome. Your team wins, but you’re still interested in seeing how it happened. I only know you from your writing and brief correspondence through email, but I immediately sense God’s delight surrounding you. Blessings and enjoy the ride.

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Kevin, I can’t tell you how much your encouragement has meant this last year. Yes our conversations have been brief but very meaningful under the hand of our great God. Looking forward to doing more in His time. Blessings to you brother and thanks for your friendship – most sincerely.

      • Thank you for your reply. Your constant devotion to following God’s leading and your obvious desire to bless those relationships He has entrusted to you is an encouragement to me. I’m grateful that we have connected.

  8. Ruby says:

    I am so encouraged by your words!…. God is faithful!

  9. Thank you Kevin for your words. I agree they are very encouraging. You are a beautiful writer, and the story God has given you is also beautiful. Reminds me of the song by Gungor “Beautiful Things.” Romans 8:28

    • Kevin Adams says:

      I love that song, listen to it every week :) Thanks for taking time to reach out both here and on twitter. I look forward to more correspondence in regard to our mutual desire to write for His glory. God bless you my new friend!

  10. I deal with the same thing with my dreams and the girl I’m dating as well. I’m glad there are people in the same boat, and I’m encouraged by your faith. Thanks again.

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Thank you Josh, I’m encouraged by your visit to the blog. Those comments really help keep us going :) In the end that faith seems to come from surrendering to God rather than our being committed to Him – big difference I’m still learning. Blessing to you my friend.

  11. Don says:

    Kevin as you know I have prayed that God would lead me to where I should be working and what I should be doing. As of now I seem to have more work than I can do. People are waiting for me to build several different items for them. I know of at least one family that is waiting for me to finish the mess I have created in their home. Now I am off at public work for the next 8 weeks or so and cannot finish the mess I started. Enjoy your writtings, keep up the great work and never loose you faith, God will provide our needs if we humble ourselves before him. Love ya’ll

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Don, I cannot express how deep my appreciation runs for you and what you have done for us. The least messy part of our house is in fact the work that you have done in love. We love you too. Cant wait to see you again. Blessings

  12. Geronimo says:

    We will not ever forget the hand of friendship you extended to us in our time of disbelief and despair…we are are still recovering but moving on. Our families have had their share of crisis since we last spoke, prayer and faith is was kept things together. I wish you much success with your writing and please continue to share your journey as you progress through the milestones of life.

    • Kevin Adams says:

      David, its so good to hear from you my friend. You were also a great source of encouragement to me and my family as you persevered and trusted God – we got to witness it. I thank you for the privilege of your friendship. Will be praying for you guys. Hope we can talk sometime soon.

  13. annettejett says:

    Beautiful! If it helps- I get you – and the struggles your family has been through. Look forward to reading along as your understanding of your faith becomes clearer.

  14. MegyDavis says:

    You are blessed on many levels Kevin. Keep writing and blogging!

  15. Mary Hess says:

    {{Sigh}}
    This faith walk is a hard one, no doubt. We are finishing up our 3rd year and stepping into the 4th.

    There are days I feel like a complete faith fraud, but like Hebrews 11:6 says: It’s impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him.

    So I’m choosing to believe that He cares enough to respond to me when I seek Him – even if I can’t see two feet in front of me.

    Thanks for your transparency here, my friend. Praying for you and your family, as always.

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Mary, your faith has been an encouragement to me and anyone who knows you. He is faithful and His timing is perfect – something you know well but its always good to repeat the truth about God to shore up the heart! Know that while you wait on Him we all wait with you sister. Thanks for taking time over the last year to help me with so many different things. Prayers continue on this end for you guys. talk soon :)

  16. HisJules says:

    Excited to see where God is taking you and your sweet family! I love that you will be putting all of this in a book form! God is always on time and always faithful – your words have proven this as you have walked this faith journey. I am so honored to have been invited to come along.

    Keep writing my friend, God is using you in a mighty way!

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Thank you sister! He moves heaven and earth and it refreshes the soul. Thank you for continuing taking the time to lift and encourage us while we wait! I’m honored that you’ve been with us along the way :) Blessings and happy fourth!

  17. With you all the way, Kevin! Praying and so very excited to see where God takes you, your family, and the amazing gift He’s given you to write for Him!

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Thanks my friend. I believe God gives each of us a few folks in our walk who will stand beside and keep lifting our heart reminding us to keep walking – you are one of those folks for me, Dineen. I can’t thank you enough for all you do. My prayers continue for you and your family.

  18. anewcreation says:

    Hi Kevin,

    I am glad to hear you are keeping keeping on. I often check your site for updates and feel disappointed when there is no new post to read, but at the same time I realise this is your life (warts and all) you are sharing with all of us and not just words on the screen. I love your honesty and your integrity with others and with yourself. Your wife is a star for the faith and trust she has in you, but she is also very blessed to have you as a husband, because in the end the house won’t matter, the job won’t matter, it will be your faith that will shine like a precious jewel and none of the other things we all think of as the manna that we need to survive or even to have an impact in this world will last or matter.

    You may find my last post encouraging.

    Be blessed as you continue blessing so many of us with your faith, perseverance and courage.

    Mercedes

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Thank you Mercedes for your sincerity both in the encouragement and in your writing. Funny, as this blessing began to unfold I thought about you and the entire idea of writing a book – regarding a previous conversation. I have struggled with how to do it with the right heart, one given to Him and not the flesh. Your thoughts have challenged me to to only let Him speak. If it is through a book or a blog or whatever – just so it is for His honor alone. In the end He is the provider not me – we just hope to follow faithfully. Please pray that this never leaves my heart. I’ll definitely check out your latest post – they are always challenging. Blessings my kind and true friend :)

  19. Daniel kiarie says:

    God is always faithful. keep writing Kevin. I’m really encouraged. God bless u

  20. Tracey Pera says:

    Thanks for sharing your heart, my life is similar. I chose God into THIS fire, not knowing how HOT it would become, yet my heart is in his Shalom. Nothing is late ( except my rent ), His ways are not LATE. so I wait on Him, as you and your family.

  21. vanessarosec says:

    Truly inspirational! You and your family will be in our prayers knowing God is guiding you all the way. x

  22. Sam says:

    God continues to mold the clay until we die. He has definately been molding you and I, thanks for joining me during this journey. I pray this often for you my brother– being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. God has started a great work in your heart, now as you are doing, allow Him to finish that work! Its a lifetime of work, however parts are beginning and ending all the time!

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Thanks brother for carrying His presence into our long time friendship. Thanks for walking this journey with us. Much love to you and yours. Talk soon :)

  23. rayasti says:

    I believe that many people have this similiar life journey about faith in God. If have to, I think God don’t mind to bring us to zero just to make us having experience God’s provider..so we have a better faith to live, to follow Him and never doubt Him in any circumstance. Through everything, I believe He have purpose for us.. is to know more about His Love.. Thanks for sharing, thanks for your faith.. Thanks to Jesus.. God bless you and your family

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Thank you friend for taking time to share your thoughts and offer that encouragement. I agree completely that God doesn’t mind taking us back to zero if it’s what we need to be more Kingdom minded and ultimately… truly Kingdom productive. Blessings!

  24. fullherlife says:

    This was excellent Kevin! I am a new writer myself… and my husband began working from home full time a little over a year ago. So, YES… we know about learning to take leaps of faith and trust that God is the provider! Wonderful writing. ~ Blessings, Amy Alves from fullherlife.com

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Hi Amy – wow thank you so much for your kindness :) And thanks for taking time to say hello and share a bit of your own journey in faith. I think that we are being called to bring hope to a body that continues to grow more hopeless by living from the soul instead of the spirit. And as God would have it, we always end up getting a double dose of encouragement back. Thanks for being a bright spot in the day! I will be checking out your blog too. Bless you and your family, Amy.

  25. Renea says:

    Sounds so much like my mess! Hopeful that things are turning around for you. Blessings. Renea

  26. lambsev says:

    I’m thinking about the letters “iah” as in Jeremiah or Isaiah. I heard they mean GOD! Jehovah! Jeremiah = “whom Jehovah has appointed”http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H3414&t=KJV
    Jesus is the messIAH? Help me Lord, you simply didn’t deserve the mess I made. TY for your mercy and grace and new friend via the internet.

  27. Steve says:

    Hi Kevin – Thanks! Steve
    I read this yesterday in an article on faith by by C.H.Spurgeon:

    You shall have your festival days back again and much brighter. “Oh, but I have wasted so much time,” says one, “through this feeble faith of mine.” Well, it is a great pity, but there is a promise which I commend to your faith—“I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten.”The locust has eaten up our harvests—this locust of weakness has devoured our pleasant fruits, yet our Lord Jesus Christ can restore to us those wasted years! He can pack 10 years of usefulness into one! He can put seven days of joy into one day and so make up to us the lost past.

  28. In America we so often confuse blessing with prosperity. I read your words here, which are beautiful and tell me that you already ARE a writer, and all I see is the blessing. A God who speaks clearly and directly to you, giving you little doubt about what He is asking of you- that is a blessing. Not only is He close enough to speak, but He has drawn you close enough to hear. Having ears that hear is a blessing. A wife who is wholly devoted to you and the God in you is a rich blessing indeed. And together you are showing your children what it’s like to really live by faith. Living by faith isn’t supposed to be easy- if faith is required than by definition it means the going is tough. Yet you continue to lead your family by following God, the fact that He has enabled you to make that choice is a blessing. You have made Him your strength and He has been strong for you. You have put your trust in Him, not just financially, and He has proven trustworthy. In fact it is possible that you are the most blessed person I know. Profound, isn’t it. I’m thinking of the song Blessings by Laura Story. I pray there will be no “lessor things” for you, friend.

    Incidentally, I’d love to hear this story from your wife’s perspective. Does she blog? If not I’d be interested in having her guest post on mine. It’s a rare thing to find a wife who maintains her devotion to God and the husband He gave her in situations like this. I believe her insights could be incredibly encouraging to other women. Thanks.

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Jennifer thank you. Your words are a great source of encouragement. I agree that we are very blessed and appreciate your boldness in pointing to it in all directions. I think the greatest blessing we’ve come to realize is the freedom experienced in surrendering to God – nothing else like it! My wife’s perspective is something I continue to count on – her memory for details is much more vivid. I’ll pass your note on to her. Thanks again Jennifer for your kindness and wisdom. You are a blessing!

  29. What a great story of encouragement. God really can do amazing things with all of us fools for sure!

  30. Lynn Donovan says:

    HI Kevin,

    My friend I absolutely see your story in a movie. Your examples and faith inspire me and so many others. Praying for you this hour. Hugs, Lynn

  31. deirdret says:

    Dear Kevin, I am inspired by your story. God has also told me to write. I have published one book, A Christmas I Remember, and am writing a book on trusting God. It is not always easy, especially when all our worldly things are in the way, and our time is so little. I am an editor by day, so the time I have to write is minimal, but He keeps placing those pages in my mind showing me how, when, and where to trust. I must trust that I will trust, crazy, huh? Good luck on your endeavors, and may God bless you! I know it will all be worth it one day. He is so good to us.

  32. strgtower7 says:

    only one word for this….AWESOME! ok, maybe 2…AMAZING!!! thank you so much for your testimony!

  33. Amazing. Inspiring. Awe-Invoking. God is deserving of our faith. And we must pray that our faith will grow into the faith that will move mountains. Thank you for writing.

  34. Chris White says:

    Kevin,
    Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12)
    Keep running……keep writing….. Do you hear the saints cheering? Oh what a victory Christ has given you…. given us……
    In Christ (sheltered from the storm),
    Chris

  35. This story is hitting home as I wait for my book to go to the printers! How encouraging this was for me to read!

  36. laurabennet says:

    I’m stunned and tearful. What a tremendous impact you will have on people. If you and your wife are foolish, it is with the foolishness of Christ which is the best and only wisdom. Well done. I am inspired. Thank you! Can’t wait to read more and your book when it comes out.

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Thank you Laura for taking the time to read the blog and encourage us. Though the fight of faith is an ongoing one the victories are sweet indeed. God’s plan is more than good and better than we expect. Looking forward to hearing from you again soon. Blessings to you and your family.

  37. Kevin, so glad I found you on Twitter so I can stay in touch with your inspiring story. There have been a few of these times in my life as well. I lost to tell others about the time in my life when I lost my husband (he left), my house, my car, and my job, all in the same month. I truly had to walk by faith, but God continued to provide “just enough.” One by one, he restored everything back to me, and increased my joy ten-fold in the process. In my prayers, brother.

    • Kevin Adams says:

      Linda, we have often prayed that God would give us broken friends, those who have been refined by the fire and learned to trust Him through it. Because there are few as able to have the depths of compassion and few as able to keep their eyes on Him like those who been broken, restored and ultimately made whole. Bless you my friend…your testimony is the encouragement that keeps each foot moving one step at a time. Thank you so much and keep sharing that!

  38. Hi. WOW…thats all I kinow to say is WOW. Your story is very compelling and moving. Despair has a harness that holds on doesnt it. My story in a nutshell isnt nearly as encompassing but its my hell all the same. I have been told several times that my poems are my income. My husband died 3 yrs ago this past Sept., and we didnt have any money in the bank. We had .48 and no life insurance. Since his death,for 3 yrs I have not been able to write much at all. Can you give me some pointers on writing. I need an income. I dont even have a car to get to and from. If you have any words of encouragement it would be much appreicated. Thank you for sharing your story. It matters.

  39. Abigail says:

    The comment about creativity and consistency resonated with me. My step of faith was much smaller–NOT teaching for the summer so that I could start writing a book that’s been on my mind for years (about my crisis of faith). While I’ve wanted to be a writer, and said it, since age 7, reason & debt squashed the idealism. Now, at 27 and living in Vegas till God (I hope!) sends me overseas, writing became the one thing I can do out of the well of my deepest desire while still paying down debt (I’m an English and theater teacher). I’ve taken steps of faith in that department, but fallen often, too.

    Have you heard of Josh Riebock? He’s a gifted writer who quit working in ministry without another job lined up to speak and write. I’m glad he did.

    Thank you for your bravery and encouragement–and also your wife. Sometimes, being the “angry passenger” requires even more faith!

    • Abigail says:

      *wife’s (sorry)

      • Dickie says:

        Hi Kevin. .. I’m a UK based poet. Called bonk bipolar. Iv never been religious or even draw towards it. Yet with my tormented past it has foundergone me. I’m being wrapped in signs from the Lord.. when I wish for it to be confer med it is 10 fold I my face. On reading your blog tonight as each sentence passes through my tired eyes.
        I’m hearing screams from animals outside my house. That are never normally there. I by chance was giving some rosery beads today and that tipped me over the edge of what has been happening of late.
        My story incredible… my life … amazing and I am the fool that can NEVER be silenced..
        I lay dormant for days wrapped in my own thoughts unable to write or see clarity. .
        But you have just opened my box mate. And if that is he work of the Lord pushing get me to this blog.. then that’s amazing..
        Iv been in parliament the square last year on a massive stage at the foot of big Ben. Shouting my poems of pain and suffering to the masses.
        I just failed to see who had been guiding me.. I know can start to unlock this cluster that revolves around in my head… Thank you… Please get in touch.. Dickie Aka Bonk Bipolar. DISABILITYARTSONLINE.org
        .. Many thanks again D

  40. Dickie lupton says:

    Thankyou

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